Set Your Mind on Growth

How a growth mindset carried me through

failure, surgery, and recovery.

One of the keys to building confidence is being willing to make mistakes—and even to fail. We learn by taking risks, especially when some of them do not work out as planned. Challenging experiences build competence, and competence strengthens confidence.

I learned this in a much more personal way during my heart surgeries and the long recoveries that followed. Each setback forced me to adjust, ask for help, and keep going even when I felt discouraged or afraid. Resilience did not come from feeling strong every day. It came from taking the next step, then the next, and slowly realizing that I could survive more than I ever imagined.

Experiencing failure, particularly when we are young, can also help develop resilience. People who learn from failure rather than retreat from it begin to see setbacks as lessons they can use. They discover that mistakes do not have to define them and that they are capable of recovering, adjusting, and trying again.

In Seizing Success, I wrote about the value of acting “as if.” This does not mean pretending to have skills or answers you do not possess. It means beginning to carry yourself as the person or leader you are becoming. Sometimes confidence follows action rather than coming before it. When you speak up, take on something unfamiliar, or step into a larger role, you begin to see that you can handle more than you thought. Even when things do not go perfectly, you gain experience that helps you the next time.

This idea is connected to the work of Dr. Carol Dweck. In her book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, she distinguishes between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. People with a fixed mindset tend to believe that intelligence and talent are largely set. They may avoid challenges because struggling or working hard feels like evidence that they lack ability.

People with a growth mindset see competence as something that can be developed. They are more willing to try new things, learn from feedback, and continue working when progress is slow. Rather than viewing failure as proof that they cannot succeed, they ask what the experience can teach them.

A growth mindset creates room for both risk and confidence. You do not have to feel completely ready before taking the next step. In fact, waiting until you feel fully confident may keep you from moving at all. Confidence is often built after we act—through practice, experience, setbacks, and the realization that we can keep going.

The failures that disappoint us in the moment may become some of our most valuable teachers. When we allow ourselves to learn from them, short-term setbacks can contribute to long-term growth and success.

Where in your life could a growth mindset open a door that fear has kept closed?

Mary

Mary Key, Ph.D. is an executive coach, leadership advisor, and co-author of an upcoming book on healing, recovery, and the human experience of care — Opened Heart: Healing Beyond Cure. She works with leaders in healthcare, technology, manufacturing, and other industries to strengthen connection, trust, and organizational culture.